I scream, you scream, we all scream for…the slump buster!
Yes, the dry spell is over! Wanna know who ended my fourteen months of sex-free misery?
Drum roll, please……………………………………………………………………
Ben & Jerry!
Seriously!
I wrote a really yummy post about it all…and at the last minute decided some things are more delicious when kept secret. (Fret not, loyal readers. If I feel voyeuristic and want to share later, I’ll let you know.)
Instead of spilling the details, I offer all you clueless dudes a step-by-step guide to luring a woman to your lair. This recipe has been tested and approved. ;-0
RECIPE FOR SUCCESS
INGREDIENTS
You
Her
Ben & Jerry’s
METHOD
• Tell (don’t ask!) her your intentions. I recommend a bedtime text that reads, “The slump ends with me.”
• Recruit Ben & Jerry. Buy a pint of her favorite flavor. Soften.
• Insist your next date be changed to “the sooner, the better” because her Alpha Male has arrived. Don’t forget to mention the ice cream! Multiple times! Persist despite rejection. Accept no excuses.
• Upon her arrival, present pint of Ben & Jerry’s with single spoon in the center.
• Feed her dessert. In bed. In your underwear.
(Tip: The stickier, the sweeter, the more sinful, the better.)
• When ice cream is gone, come. (Ladies first.)
• Everyone satisfied? Rinse and repeat.
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