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March 16, 2010
Tags:
Alcohol, Whisky, Dating, Men, Puck, Jail Bird, EconMan, The Mexican, Addiction, Recovery, TV, Television, Holiday, St. Patrick's Day, Irish, Family, Recipe, Bread Pudding, Breakfast, Brunch, Make-Ahead, Apples, Raisins, Cinnamon, Challah, Bread
You asked for it. Okay, perhaps not you, personally, but one of my readers challenged me to dedicate a post to why, if I don’t drink, I date so many men who do.
At first, I thought my reader was way off base. (more…)
March 11, 2010
Tags:
Alcohol, Dating, Men, Addiction, Health, Movies, Holiday
I’m jumping the gun on this topic, as I’d hoped to time it with St. Patrick’s Day, but as most of you will probably be inebriated, not reading, I'm going to say my piece now while you’re sober.
The same night that Slump Buster and I (more…)
January 28, 2010
Tags:
Dating, Men, Advice
The name of the game is waiting.
Err…I meant dating.
Fuck it. Same difference.
Anyone who says dating is not a game is lying. Everyone walks on eggshells around the opposite sex. There are unspoken rules what should and should not be revealed, and when. Women are at a disadvantage because what they (more…)
January 21, 2010
Tags:
C'mon Kid, Gorilla Guy, Meatless Man, Irish Eyes, Mom, Writing, Facebook, Technology, Dating, Men, Elvis, Recipe, Bacon, Sandwich, Bread, Mayonaise, Lettuce, Tomato
(Continued from yesterday’s post)
Scene: Sunday evening, two weeks ago, me at home on the computer.
After the booty call that never got off the ground, I sent the “let’s be friends” message to C’mon Kid, hoping that in lieu of getting laid, we'd at least have an artist-to-artist chat. Bedtime (more…)
January 20, 2010
Tags:
Meatless Man, Irish Eyes, C'mon Kid, Writing, Facebook, Music, Dating, Men, Elvis, Recipe, Candy, Cheesecake, Nuts, Pecans, Most Popular Posts
As I mentioned in my last post, I had some reservations about publishing this missive because it might hurt someone’s feelings. Let’s call that sensitive subject Meatless Man. No explanation necessary. (For the record, I originally wrote him in as “Nice Guy” so as not to offend him. Ha!) In the last 24 (more…)
January 15, 2010
Tags:
Dating, Men, Irish Eyes, Writing, Insatiable, Recipe, Cookies, Shortbread, Dessert, Baking, Butter
This was the week of 2nd dates. Each was the complete opposite of what I’d expected. One knocked my socks off (and came thisclose to knocking boots), one was incredibly touching (and made me wish I hadn’t jumped to platonic parameters so quickly after date #1), and the third (who will remain sans (more…)
January 7, 2010
Tags:
Men, Dating, Writing, Recipe, Bread, Mushrooms, Onions, Wild Rice
So…it’s getting harder and harder to blog knowing that my suitors are reading these posts. Such is the case with today’s entry. Of all my invites lately, this is the one I’m most looking forward to. Said man is also the sole unavailable one of the bunch. And because I (more…)
January 6, 2010
Tags:
My Little Indian, Restaurants, Sushi, Fish, Dating, Men, Writing, Insatiable, TV, Television, Movies
After the New Year’s dinner date with My Little Indian (see previous post), I confessed via e-mail that I wanted to keep things platonic. To my surprise, he didn’t mind; in fact, he invited me out for sushi. A week later, on a frigid January night, we met up at the chi-chi (more…)
January 1, 2010
Tags:
Holiday, Irish Eyes, Dating, Men, Insatiable, Restaurants, Recipe, Eggnog, Pancakes, Breakfast, Eggnog Pancakes, Healthy
I am now convinced the granting of my Christmas wishes was not ignored, but simply delayed. Over the last few days, I’ve received more date invites than I did in all of 2009! I owe Santa some seriously delicious cookies.
And to my readers, I owe you this previously deleted post:
Irish Eyes was (more…)
December 31, 2009
Tags:
Alcohol, Dating, Men, Jail Bird, Shrink, Irish Eyes, Recipe, Dessert, Cheesecake, Pecans, Nuts, Eggnog
Let’s talk liquor, shall we? ‘Tis the season to get plastered. Consider this my PSA. Dating under the influence is dicey.
The reason I don’t drink can be traced back to New Year’s Eve of my 14th year (also the night of my first French kiss). I was at a co-ed (more…)
December 29, 2009
Tags:
Men, Dating, Writing, Irish Eyes, Facebook, Technology, Recipe, Cookies, Bars, Baking, Oatmeal, M & Ms
It’s said if you don’t like the Minnesotan weather, wait a minute. This apparently applies to dating as well. Following are two posts, written two days apart, with completely different forecasts for the future.
48 HOURS AGO
If good things cum to those who wait, I deserve infinite orgasms. Seriously. This is getting (more…)
December 15, 2009
Tags:
Travel, Puck, Canada, Montreal, Bread, Baguette, Ice Cream, Sandwich, Men, Starbucks, Subway, Dairy Queen, Ben & Jerry's, Puck, Recipe
**Part of a week-long post from Man Eater's Montreal vacation**
DAY TWO
I feel like The Bubble Girl in this hotel room. Montreal looked so lush in the You Tube videos; now that I’m here, it reminds me of Boston: gray, cold, dirty, lonely, scary. The maps are mazes that I can’t (more…)
November 20, 2009
Tags:
Match, Men, Dating, Love, Insatiable, Puck
I was not surprised when today, my last day on Match, I received a surge of e-mails from interested bachelors. This confirms my theory that the dating site is, well, a set-up. What better way to ensure that a single gal at her wit’s end would renew her membership than to barrage her (more…)
November 1, 2009
Tags:
Movies, Love, Men, Shrink, Match, Mystery Man, Adultery, Divorce, Married Man, The-Rapist
If you believe, as I do, that the Universe sends us signs, consider the last 48 hours a clobbering over the head by the Powers That Be.
Back up to Thursday night, when I e-mailed my Match.com Mystery Man to say I "approved" of his photos. Because I'm way too forward for my own (more…)
October 29, 2009
Tags:
Match, Men, Dating, Puck, Mystery Man, Technology, Movies, Cooking, Baking, Recipe, Bacon, Apples, Chocolate, Candy, Breakfast, Dessert, Muffins, Stud Muffins, Dud Muffins
Man Eater has a live one on the line.
I knew this would happen. As soon as I informed Match.com that I would not be renewing my membership, two new e-mails popped up; the first too ridiculous to warrant a response (“I want to know the name of your book!” Uh-huh, I’ll (more…)
October 26, 2009
Tags:
Television, Men, Love, Cake, Pudding, Chocolate, Recipe
I'm behind on my must-see TV. It wasn't until this summer that I discovered--and fell in love with--"Boston Legal". All those sexy Alpha males, the excessive testosterone, the drama and debate; talk about a guilty pleasure! I gorged on the series, devouring the entire six seasons in a matter of weeks. It was (more…)
October 24, 2009
Tags:
Match, Men, Dating, eHarmony, Pumpkin Eater, Money
In an attempt to weed out the illiterate losers on Match, I added a new line to my profile last night: “If all you’re going to do is wink, don’t bother.”
Since then: six winks and counting.
I’m sorry, fellas, but what about “don’t bother” didn’t you understand?!
If (more…)
October 23, 2009
Tags:
Match, Men, Love, Puck, EconMan, Technology, Dating
It’s official. Man Eater is a masochist.
I’m only 48 hours into round three of online dating and already regretting the ten minutes it took to update my profile and upload a few not-too-pornographic pics onto Match.com.
My “plan” had been to just put the profile up, wait until my in-box had (more…)
October 16, 2009
Tags:
Men, Gaga Guru, Punk Blogger, Fire Writer, Technology
As I mentioned in yesterday's post, the men are closing in--and not a moment too soon, as I'm raring to break my sex fast. Continuing now with two more of my four contenders, both of whom are MAMs (Man Eater's acronym for Middle Aged Man):
Contender #2
I’ll call him Gaga Guru because (more…)
October 15, 2009
Tags:
Men, Music, Technology, Television, TV
The force field has been actived. My taxi cab light is on (to borrow a metaphor from Sex and the City). I’m ripe. I’m juicy. I’m ready. I can feel it.
The men are circling, like the hound dogs they are. They’re sniffing me out. So why hasn’t anyone (more…)
October 6, 2009
Tags:
Shrink, Puck, Men, Love
I like to fuck and get fucked…but only in the physical sense.
Mind fucking? So NOT fun.
Alas, I continue to visit the head shrinker because, like dental cleanings and pap smears, it’s supposed to be good for me.
Today, in grand passive-aggressive style, I arrived to my noon appointment 20 minutes late. (more…)
October 5, 2009
Tags:
Men, Cupcakes, Pumpkin, Recipe
The full moon in Aries (natch) is making me insane, so this pumpkin-themed post might splatter all over the place, but I hope that by the end you’ll be satisfied anyway.
As I mentioned on Facebook yesterday, I impulsively purchased a three-pack of canned pureed pumpkin and was jonesing to make something autumnal, (more…)
September 29, 2009
Tags:
Writing, Men, Love, Shrink, Man Eater, Puck
Shrinkage is bad for men, but it is a necessary evil for Man Eater.
I’m talking about therapy, people!
My shrink has a sailor’s mouth almost as dirty as mine, she’s impossible to shock, and she’s just as feisty as yours truly. All great qualities…until she turns them on (more…)
September 27, 2009
Tags:
Music, Men, Intoxicating Artist, Recipe, Cake, Chocolate, Black Magic Cake, Frosting
I’ve been bingeing.
No, not on food. (Though I’m known to do that, too.)
On music.
Listening to tunes satisfies me almost as well as eating does (though neither compare to getting laid, of course). When I’m being smart and respecting myself, I’ll feed my love hunger with music instead (more…)
September 19, 2009
Tags:
Writing, Men, Puck, Breakups, Technology, Recipe, Pie, Peanut Butter, Chocolate
Goodbyes are not always bad, right? I mean, “good” is half the word!
And yet…I seem to be on the receiving end of a lot of bad “goodbyes” lately. Since the conception of this blog, I’ve gotten the kiss-off from at least four men.
To be fair to MAN EATER, two of (more…)
September 18, 2009
Tags:
Writing, Men, Love, Braiser Babe
Readers, if you pay attention to nothing else but this next line, please believe me:
I adore you.
No, really. I ADORE YOU.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again: this is a labor of love. I don’t get paid to write this blog. I don’t accept ads (more…)
September 3, 2009
Tags:
Writing, Men, Love, Pasta, Tomatoes, Cheese, Shut Up And Eat It, Recipe, Dinner
Blog.
That’s it. Thanks for reading. Have a nice day.
…ok, I’ll elaborate.
It used to be that the worst thing you could say to a guy was that you don’t give head; now the blow job debate is unnecessary. One blog post, even with excessive pseudonym use, is enough to (more…)
August 12, 2009
Tags:
Men, MAMs, Middle-aged Men, Bill Clinton, Politicians, Single Dads, Man Eater Sandwiches
My name is Erica and I’m a recovering MAM addict. (MAM = Middle Aged Man.)
Blame it on Bill Clinton. My sexual coming-of-age coincided with the Monica Lewinsky debacle. I never admitted it to my classmates at the time, but I envied Monica. Bill was so charming—that salt-and-pepper coif, the dorky guffaw, the (more…)
August 5, 2009
Tags:
Men, Running, Technology, Mom
Mysterious Cyclist has officially become Creepy Cyclist.
Yes, we passed on my running route again yesterday, though both of us were going in opposite directions. Me, away from my house; him, towards my house, but both of us in the opposite direction.
(I usually run a rectangular route because beneath the summer sun, a (more…)
August 2, 2009
Tags:
Men, Puck, Technology
Pop Quiz: How many people have you slept with in your phone?
This was the topic on my favorite radio station the other day. I always listen to said station when I run because they have the most booty-pumping hip-hop beats. Normally, when the DJs chat, I switch stations. But this topic was too (more…)
July 31, 2009
Tags:
Television, Men, Love
I’m behind on my hit television series viewing. I chalk it up to the fact that for several years I was conceiving, gestating, birthing, and/or breastfeeding babies and didn’t have time for the tube.
Now that I have the occasional half-hour free (or make that a half-hour of absolute boredom on (more…)
July 24, 2009
Tags:
Gorilla Guy, Men, Fitness
While lifting weights this afternoon at the gym, I noticed that my mirror muscles are now less prominent due to the running hiatus. I suppose that’s not a bad thing, as I’ve increased my body fat ever-so-slightly and no longer have that freakishly cut physique.
Despite my softer silhouette, however, I felt (more…)
July 21, 2009
Tags:
Home, Men, Eating
While the freezer hasn’t been up to snuff for about a week now, I wasn’t worried because everything besides ice cream was staying cold. Then this morning, I opened the fridge to scoop up some peanut butter and found it was so liquidy, I could’ve poured it like honey onto my (more…)
July 4, 2009
Tags:
Holiday, Poetry, Men
It's a holiday, which means it's a good time for bad poetry (hey--at least this one is short!). I was going to dedicate this to the man that inspired it, but when I jotted down his initials, I realized that if you say them out loud, they sound like "Empty." Very fitting, considering our (more…)
July 3, 2009
Tags:
Men, Fuck Buddy, Eating, Holiday, Books
The latest book I’m reading is “Desire” by Susan Cheever. It’s an analysis of how addictions develop and when normal urges, specifically for sex, spiral into uncontrollable obsessions.
So, I’ve been contemplating whether I am addict—and if so, what it is I’m addicted TO. I’ve always wondered if (more…)
July 2, 2009
Tags:
Puck, Fuck Buddy, Men, Technology
Warning: Angry woman writing.
This is an open letter to all my former suitors, especially those with reunion fantasies. Let’s get something straight: I don’t play games. If I want you, believe me, you’ll know. To say I’m upfront is an understatement. The only time I play hard-to-get is if (more…)
May 30, 2009
Tags:
Men, Puck, Energy Worker, Holiday
“What do you want for your birthday, Mommy?” my six-year-old recently asked me.
My b-day is still over two weeks away, but in the Rivera household, we like to plan ahead. This year, however, I’m not excited about the prospect of my celebration. If my birthday doesn’t involve Puck appearing on my doorstep (more…)
May 29, 2009
Tags:
Men, Love, Puck, Movies
I’m embarrassed to admit I paid $8.25 to see “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” the other night. Besides Matthew McConaughey being total eye candy (which led to a bout of sugar crash, ha ha) and Jennifer Whatever looking way too thin with those protruding cheekbones, the story was entertaining (in that cookie cutter way), though (more…)
May 3, 2009
Tags:
Aries, Men, Technology
I resisted as long as I could.
Facebook, My Space, Twitter, and the like all seemed like time killers that would keep me from doing my “real” writing. But when I got fed up with Match.com a few months ago, Energy Worker suggested I put a profile up on Facebook and see who (more…)
May 1, 2009
Tags:
Men, Writing
I’ve stopped going to the coffee shop. For those of you readers who are regulars there, this isn’t news. Several months have passed since my visits diminished from daily to sporadic.
It started because I was wimp. There was a cold weather snap back that kept me indoors and though “my” coffee (more…)
March 8, 2009
Tags:
Men, Eating, Love
I’m supposed to be on a first date right now. For the past two weeks I’ve gone back and forth with a Single Dad on a day and time that we’d both be kid-free so we could meet. Finally we decided on today.
He suggested brunch.
Brunch.
That meant skipping Body (more…)
February 22, 2009
Tags:
Men, Cooking
Felt queasy all morning, muscles very tense, like body was holding onto something toxic.
It was something of a relief when I checked e-mail and saw that my latest Match.com man had cancelled our coffee date at the last minute. He wanted to reschedule, but I was feeling bitter, so I wrote back, " (more…)
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Note: Post dates may not coincide with events described in blog.
Feed Me.
Author's Note: Amount of chocolate consumed inversely proportionate to current amount of sexual activity. As you can see, I'm in the midst of a severe dry spell.
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