September 1, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Chris the Cameraman, Writing, Books, Reunions, Texting, Music, Concerts, Platonic Friendships, Movies, Breakups, Julie & Julia, Julia Childs, Forgiveness, Music Video, YouTube, Neko Case, Slump Buster Reunion Series
So. Slump Buster is back. At least via text. When yet another message arrived on Friday night, I responded. I know, naughty, naughty Man Eater. Go ahead, spank me. Three
is the magic number for giving it up. So I gave in.
I swore to myself that I wouldn’t post the
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August 17, 2010
Tags:
New Dude, Breakups, Rogue Valley, Diesel Jeans DJ, BFF, Radio, Chris the Cameraman, Crushes, Infatuation, First Avenue, Music, Concerts, Twin Cities, Movies, Apologies, Exchange of the Stuf, Yoga, Family
Though I’d only said goodbye to one guy, within 72 hours of dumping New Dude, it felt like everyone with a Y chromosome was either giving me the cold shoulder or getting on my case.
Case in point: my step-dad.
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” he exclaimed on Friday morning when he saw
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August 9, 2010
Tags:
The Goondas, Rockstar Guest Chefs, Starving Artist Series, Josh Miller, Brendan Green, Andy Meuwissen, Jackson Atkins, Cody Hughes, Broccoli Management, Wine, Alcohol, Drinking Games, The Current, Exhibitionism, Video Taping, Music Video, Concerts, Sewing, Movies, Music, Recipe, Pasta, Vegetarian, Sun Dried Tomatoes, Green Peppers, Garlic, Onion, Debauchery Pasta
The Goondas freak me out. In their music video “Jackalope Jesus”, drummer Josh Miller bangs away, stiff and bare-chested, like he’s on speed. A shot follows of his drumstick…between the fangs of a dead bear’s mouth. Then he takes a piss by one of Minnesota’s formerly pristine 10,000 lakes. Nice.
The
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May 31, 2010
Tags:
Sex and the City, Sarah Jessica Parker, Movies, Music, Rogue Valley, Women, Friends, Girlfriends, Alcohol, Blogging, Writing, Parties, Adultery, Puck, Cheating, Recipe, Cupcakes, Red Velvet, Cream Cheese Frosting
I recently told a reader that “I don’t play well with others. Unless we’re naked.” Case in point: I had been at a Sex and the City 2 movie premiere party for only five minutes when, while attempting to shake hands, I knocked over another attendee's drink.
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May 4, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Breakups, Reunions, Dating, Moving, Housing, Poetry, Tattoos, Tattooed Poets Project, Books, Movies, Julie and Julia, Julia Child, Marriage, Wedding, Lil Bro, Blogging, Finger Fucking, Hair Pulling, Spanking, BDSM, Naps, Technology, Texting, Recipe, Cocoa Krispies, Rice Krispies, Chocolate, Frosting, Cupcakes, Dessert, Cereal, Most Popular Posts
“Can I ask you a question?”
That’s all the text from Slump Buster said.
Yes. Slump Buster. The man who, back in
March, I forbade from ever contacting me again (due to his excessive mind-fucking and absence of physical fucking). When I declared
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April 29, 2010
Tags:
Dating, Sex Acts, Playboy, The Mexican, Johnny Depp, Josh Hartnett, High School, South High, Blow Jobs, BJ, Dough Boy, Popsicles, Animals, Tacos, Blow, Movies, Poe, Music, Urban Dictionary, Words
My previous two
posts left *some* people all hot & bothered. It’s time to cool down...which fits perfectly with today’s topic: blowing.
The inspiration for a blow post came from a lover. Every guy has his trademark trick in bed…
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March 26, 2010
Tags:
Puck, Dating, Breakups, Technology, Facebook, Movies, Moving, Tito, Dogs, Texting, Jail Bird
What’s the first thing you do when you return to single status? You Google The One That Got Away, of course. Unfortunately, Puck is virtually untraceable, save for a business address, a cycling race score, and an obituary (his father had the same name). Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. Cyberstalking excitement over.
…until I logged onto Facebook.
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March 11, 2010
Tags:
Alcohol, Dating, Men, Addiction, Health, Movies, Holiday
I’m jumping the gun on this topic, as I’d hoped to time it with St. Patrick’s Day, but as most of you will probably be inebriated, not reading, I'm going to say my piece now while you’re sober.
The same night that Slump Buster and I
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February 13, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Movies, Boston Legal, Eating, Sleepovers, Make-up Sex, Apologies, Recipe, Pizza, Pepperoni, Mushrooms, Cheese, Most Popular Posts
(Continued from the
previous post)
Our first fight resolved, my sentence of sitting through the Super Bowl served, and all but one slice of my Rice Krispies heart eaten, Slump Buster handed me a take-out menu so I could order the pizza we’d
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February 3, 2010
Tags:
Dating, Lil Bro, Pumpkin Eater, My Little Indian, Puck, Slump Buster, Restaurants, PDA, TV, Television, Movies, Recipe, Pizza, Potatoes, Fries, Sweet Potato Fries, Spicy, Chipotle Mayo
What defines a date? Seriously. I want to know. ‘Cause somewhere along the line, I got labeled as “Couch Potato Chick”. After the requisite coffee, lunch, and dinner outings, we arrive at date three, have sex, and suddenly my suitors relegate me to “let’s stay in” status.
…not that I mind necessarily. Home
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January 9, 2010
Tags:
Elvis, Music, Music Mensch, Dating, Writing, Books, Magazines, Music, Movies, Recipe, Bananas, Peanut Butter, Butter, Sandwich, Snack, Fried, Velvet Elvis
I don’t do well with rules. Not even my own. This week, for the first time, I broke my “Never double-book” rule.
The man I made the exception for was (surprise!) a Facebook friend. We’ll call him Music Mensch. As a former writer for a major magazine, he’d been around. As
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January 6, 2010
Tags:
My Little Indian, Restaurants, Sushi, Fish, Dating, Men, Writing, Insatiable, TV, Television, Movies
After the New Year’s dinner date with My Little Indian (see previous post), I confessed via e-mail that I wanted to keep things platonic. To my surprise, he didn’t mind; in fact, he invited me out for sushi. A week later, on a frigid January night, we met up at the chi-chi
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January 3, 2010
Tags:
My Little Indian, Holiday, TV, Television, Movies, Anthony Bourdain, Sex Acts, Oral Sex, Condoms, Most Popular Posts
Tic-toc, the pants are gonna drop. Soon. (Can I get an AMEN?) In preparation, I returned to my journals for a quick review in how-not-to-hook-up.
On New Year’s Day, 2009, My Little Indian offered to make me dinner for our third date. As he embarked on meal prep, I stood in the doorway of
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December 26, 2009
Tags:
Music, Movies, Radio, Alcohol, Irish, Recipe, Bread, Buttermilk, Butter, Oatmeal
I’ve had all things Irish on my mind lately. For discretion’s sake, let’s say it’s because I went to see The Swell Season when they finished off their tour in Minneapolis a few weeks ago.
Some of you are already going bleary-eyed. You think you don’t know who The
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December 4, 2009
Tags:
Writing, Home, Mom, Movies, Puck, Food, Grocery Shopping, Dating, Man Eater
Once every other sane (read: employed) person in the world had gone to bed, I watched "Paper Heart" to unwind. Following is the post I wrote after seeing it in the theater for the first time.
**
"Paper Heart" is a sweet, quirky film about a girl who doesn’t believe in love…until she
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November 8, 2009
Tags:
Captain Crush, Swimmer Stud, Josh Hartnett, High School, Technology, Movies, Recipe, Baking, Cookies, Oatmeal, Butterscotch, Ice Cream
It was my freshman year at an inner city high school in Minneapolis and the social butterfly I never knew I was burst from her bashful cocoon. While the rest of my classmates were googly-eyed for Josh Hartnett (yes, THAT Josh Hartnett), I fell for the captain of the swim team.
It was infatuation
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November 2, 2009
Tags:
Movies, Adultery, Fire Writer, Chocolate, Fudge, Candy, Recipe
Confession: I lied. Though I said in yesterday’s post that I was too upset to eat, I did. A lot. All of it chocolate.
Before heading to Uptown to see “An Education” last night, I had a freakish urge to make fudge. I’d seen a recipe meant to be used for leftover
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November 1, 2009
Tags:
Movies, Love, Men, Shrink, Match, Mystery Man, Adultery, Divorce, Married Man, The-Rapist
If you believe, as I do, that the Universe sends us signs, consider the last 48 hours a clobbering over the head by the Powers That Be.
Back up to Thursday night, when I e-mailed my Match.com Mystery Man to say I "approved" of his photos. Because I'm way too forward for my own
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October 29, 2009
Tags:
Match, Men, Dating, Puck, Mystery Man, Technology, Movies, Cooking, Baking, Recipe, Bacon, Apples, Chocolate, Candy, Breakfast, Dessert, Muffins, Stud Muffins, Dud Muffins
Man Eater has a live one on the line.
I knew this would happen. As soon as I informed Match.com that I would not be renewing my membership, two new e-mails popped up; the first too ridiculous to warrant a response (“I want to know the name of your book!” Uh-huh, I’ll
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October 18, 2009
Tags:
Movies, Love, Gorilla Guy, Puck, Fire Writer, Recipe, Apples, Apple Slump, Crock Pot
I’ve done it all; online dating, speed dating, blind dating. I’ve been matched up, hooked up, stood up. I’ve tried psychotherapy, stone therapy, astrology, affirmations, Kundalini yoga, and collages.
One attract-a-man book I read said I should set a place at the table for my intended mate and buy him presents.
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October 12, 2009
Tags:
Movies, Keanu Reeves, Mom, Puck, Soup, Recipe
According to my hit counter (Who invented that kick-ass term? I love that Man Eater gets “hit” on!), I have some new readers out there, readers who must be wondering how I got to be the nut-crazed loony tune that I am. Today, I’m going to tell you.
It all started around my
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September 23, 2009
Tags:
Cooking, Movies, Fuck Buddy, Recipe, Brownies
I made Brown Noser Brownies today. Just licking the batter from the spatula, I knew I was in for a treat. The ooey-gooey melted chocolate was heavenly on my tongue. It was almost TOO sugary. Almost. (Desserts, unlike men, can never be too sweet.)
While the brownies were baking, I typed the step-by-step instructions
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September 9, 2009
Tags:
Spirituality, Dreams, Intoxicating Artist, Puck, Movies
On occasion, I include a request in my bedtime prayer to God for Him to send me a clue, sign, or otherwise guide me in my dreams. Last night, I did the (now stale), “May you reveal my soul mate’s identity,” prayer. Well, either God is a polygamist or something got lost in
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August 10, 2009
Tags:
Movies, Love, Cooking, Writing, Mom, Puck
You knew this was coming: the blog entry about the new movie “Julie and Julia.” In a word: Go! It is unbelievably funny. Anyone who has ever cooked (or, more precisely, attempted to cook and failed and cried about it) will laugh out loud. And of course, Meryl Streep is a genius actress. She
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August 3, 2009
Tags:
Puck, Television, Movies, Spirituality
The other day, as soon as I finished blogging about "The Bachelorette" proposal and blubbering about Puck, the doorbell rang. Ding-dong. I stared at the front door, scared and disbelieving and breathless. Could it be? Had Puck, inspired by the finale of ABC’s reality show, finally come for me?
I peeked out the
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July 17, 2009
Tags:
Puck, Movies, Love
I bribed away writer's block yesterday by promising myself a ticket to "The Proposal" if I finished my work. Mission accomplished, I went to the movies.
Sandra Bullock’s character is a Canadian working as an editor for an American publishing company. When her visa expires, she turns her assistant (Ryan Reynolds, who in
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May 29, 2009
Tags:
Men, Love, Puck, Movies
I’m embarrassed to admit I paid $8.25 to see “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” the other night. Besides Matthew McConaughey being total eye candy (which led to a bout of sugar crash, ha ha) and Jennifer Whatever looking way too thin with those protruding cheekbones, the story was entertaining (in that cookie cutter way), though
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