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September 4, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Writing, Blogging, Reunions, Texting, Music, Concerts, Breakups, Confessions, Weather, Photography, Falling in Love
“This feels like a dream,” Slump Buster said as he lay back on the couch.
It was not a dream. It was Thursday…and I was at his lair, sinking alongside him into the cushions. Our feet rested on the coffee table, our shoulders were pressed together, our heads turned profile. We were thisclose (more…)
September 1, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Chris the Cameraman, Writing, Books, Reunions, Texting, Music, Concerts, Platonic Friendships, Movies, Breakups, Julie & Julia, Julia Childs, Forgiveness, Music Video, YouTube, Neko Case
So. Slump Buster is back. At least via text. When yet another message arrived on Friday night, I responded. I know, naughty, naughty Man Eater. Go ahead, spank me. Three is the magic number for giving it up. So I gave in.
I swore to myself that I wouldn’t post the (more…)
August 25, 2010
Tags:
The Goondas, Rockstar Guest Chefs, Starving Artist Series, Josh Miller, Brenden Green, Andy Meuwissen, Jackson Atkins, Cody Hughes, Broccoli Management, Exhibitionism, Video Taping, Music Video, Concerts, Music, Slump Buster, Breakups, Pregnancy, Technology, Texting, Sexting, Blogging, Gimme Noise, City Pages, Andrea Swensson, Yoga, Meditation
Confession: I was not in the mood to party. But my gawd, they’re The Goondas and I love those naughty boys as though I’d birthed them myself. I had to go to their show…but when my 9 PM primping time rolled around, I could hardly get the junk (more…)
June 18, 2010
Tags:
Birthdays, Slump Buster, EconMan, Puck, The Strip Club, Mom, Parenting, Family, Holidays, Music, Depression, TV, Television, Cake, Cupcakes, Crumbs Bake Shop, Astrology
Oh, how I love a break up right before my birthday!
Since my divorce, I’ve only been attached (and precariously at that) twice on my birthday. The first time was to EconMan (you can read about that unhappy occasion here); the second time (more…)
June 5, 2010
Tags:
Dating, Love, Honey Buns, Slump Buster, Diesel Jeans DJ, Music, Jeremy Messersmith, Crying, Recipe, Brownies, Candy, Reese's Pieces, Chocolate, Cupcakes
I’ve been crying a lot lately. Not for the reason you might think.
Before I proceed, can I get a pat on the back? (And the ass, if you don't brand me like a heifer.) I've been in a new *thing* for almost (more…)
May 28, 2010
Tags:
Music, Courtney McClean and the Dirty Curls, Max Bunny Sparber, Bluegrass, Sex World, Slump Buster, Erotica, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Best Sex Writing, Please Sir, Threesomes, Girl Crushes, Cake Eater, Cupcakes, Minneapolis, Moorhead, She & Him, Ménage à trois, Writing, Pregnancy, Texting, Technology, Cowgirls, Proposals, Sex Acts, BJs, Recipe, Cocktail, Alcohol, Bailey's Irish Cream, Schnapps, Butterscotch, Cocksucking Cowgirl
I’ll never forget when I first heard Courtney McClean and The Dirty Curls perform. Aside from their jaw-dropping lyrics, what ingrained them in my memory was that their show was the same day when all the pregnancy drama with Slump Buster came to, (more…)
May 25, 2010
Tags:
She & Him, The Threesome Trilogy, Threesomes, Bisexuality, Girl Crushes, Texting, Women, Girlfriends, Dating, Energy Worker, Ménage à trois, Bruises, BDSM, STDs, Condoms, Contraception, Birth Control, Parenting, Periods, Menstruation, Alcohol, Addiction, Blogging, Writing, Slump Buster, Pregnancy
If I’m ever in doubt about whether or not getting down & dirty with someone was a bad idea, I only need to wait until daybreak to see how I feel.
The day after my backdoor quickie, for example, I felt fucking fantastic. My (more…)
May 10, 2010
Tags:
Music, Musicians, Jeremy Messersmith, Rogue Valley, Concerts, Fashion, College Kids, Tie Guy, Playboy, Slump Buster, Babies, Dating, Pick-Up Lines, 20-Somethings, Honey Buns, Ice Queen, Music Mensch, Hot Dogs, Baseball, Writing, Blogging, Insatiable, Publishing, Facebook, Technology, Recipe, Sausage, Wieners, Hot Dog Buns, Buns, Bread, Ketchup, Mustard, Honey
A Girl, A Boy, and A Graveyard.
That was the song that made me fall in love with Jeremy Messersmith a month ago. Musical talents aside, he is also adorably dorky (think Buddy Holly, but hotter), so I was bouncing off the walls in anticipation of his CD release show on Friday.
The evening (more…)
May 8, 2010
Tags:
Music, Al Kooper, Bob Dylan, Song Writing, Guitars, Musicians, Minneapolis, Twin Cities, Minnesota Nice, Playboy, S.O., Adultery, Dating, Open Relationships, Threesomes, Slump Buster, Irish Eyes, Dr. Depp, Music Mensch, Lil' Bro, Diesel Jeans DJ, Jeans, Fashion, Writing, Blogging, Technology, Facebook, Texting, Enemies, Haters, Violence, Apologies, Seafood, Restaurants, Marie Antoinette, Brioche, France, French, Recipe, Bread, Cake, Coconut, Almond Paste, Raspberries, Berries, Breakfast, Brunch, Dessert, Coconut Frosting, Off With Her Head Bread
Sometimes Man Eater goes looking for trouble. Sometimes trouble finds me. And sometimes, both happen simultaneously.
I’m sitting one table away from Diesel Jeans DJ, in direct sight of Playboy, and within striking distance of his S.O. How did this happen? In part by chance, in part by choice, and in part (more…)
May 5, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Breakups, Marriage, Blogging, Tequila, Cages, Parties, Technology, Texting, Facebook, Photographs, Crying, Emotions, Recipe, Bread, Appetizer, Garlic, Parsley, Irish Butter
***Continued from previous post***
After five months of the on-again-off-again relational rollercoaster, Slump Buster and I were on again. I had been lured back per his “Can I ask you a question?” text, but after our kiss-and-make-up session, he still hadn’t popped the (more…)
May 4, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Breakups, Reunions, Dating, Moving, Housing, Poetry, Tattoos, Tattooed Poets Project, Books, Movies, Julie and Julia, Julia Child, Marriage, Wedding, Lil Bro, Blogging, Finger Fucking, Hair Pulling, Spanking, BDSM, Naps, Technology, Texting, Recipe, Cocoa Krispies, Rice Krispies, Chocolate, Frosting, Cupcakes, Dessert, Cereal, Most Popular Posts
“Can I ask you a question?”
That’s all the text from Slump Buster said.
Yes. Slump Buster. The man who, back in March, I forbade from ever contacting me again (due to his excessive mind-fucking and absence of physical fucking). When I declared (more…)
April 23, 2010
Tags:
Facebook, Technology, Texting, Music, Dr. Depp, Playboy, Slump Buster, Dating, Match, Match.com, Parenting, Single Dads, Restaurants, The Strip Club, Corner Table, Taco Bell, Doctors, Health, Hospitals, Minneapolis, Vegetarians, Tea, Salad, Soup, Lettuce, Apples, Hamburgers, Hamburger Buns, Buns, Bread, Eggs, Fried Eggs, Bacon, Truffles, Chocolate, Sea Salt, Rice Pudding, Shortbread, Cookies, Most Popular Posts
I’m thisclose to posting a rageful rant…but if I’m gonna say something nasty, I want it to sting. Thus, I’ll need a day or two to stew. For now, know this: 1) there are no second chances and 2) Nobody puts Man Eater in a corner.
Now that I’ve spelled out (more…)
April 20, 2010
Tags:
Dating, Single Dads, The Strip Club, Slump Buster, Puck, Playboy, Technology, Astrology, Alcohol, Bars, Restaurants, Smoking, Cigarettes, Parenting, Performances, Artists, Music, Prince, P.O.S., NPR, Spring, Cats, Love, Nature, Recipe, Carrot Cake, Cupcakes, Raisins, Nuts, Cream Cheese, Dessert, Most Popular Posts
The week following my return from Denver was drier than Mile High mountain air. An ER doc I was scheduled to “have a cow” with at The Strip Club on Sunday evening cancelled. Then Slump Buster un-fanned me. Puck re-blocked me. Playboy* was (more…)
April 18, 2010
Tags:
The Denver Trilogy, Travel, Denver, Colorado, AWP, Conference, Writers, Books, Publishing, Robert Wilder, Daddy Needs A Drink, Tattoos, Poetry, Retro Writer, Slump Buster, Ice Cream, Airplanes, First Class, Music, Chris Koza, Rogue Valley, Alex Lemon, Recipe, Muffins, Whole Wheat, Bran Muffins, Raisins, Trial Mix
***Continued from previous post***
Scene: Saturday morning in the Mile High City. With a spinach omelet, orange marmalade toast, and a fresh fruit cup in my stomach, celebrity cock shots on my cell, and a suitcase packed with Man Eater proposals, I headed off (more…)
April 13, 2010
Tags:
The Denver Trilogy, Adultery, Retro Writer, Slump Buster, Lucy, Desi, C'mon Kid, Diesel Jeans DJ, DJ, Travel, Denver, Colorado, AWP, Robert Wilder, Daddy Needs A Drink, Writers, Authors, Books, Bars, Alcohol, Indian Food, Little India, Lamb, Single Dads, Most Popular Posts
TGIF indeed! I’m in Colorado, dining at Little India with a big group of artists. I may be far from home, but my Twin Cities peeps are all here. On my left is Retro Writer, my authorial fantasy man, and across from me (more…)
April 11, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Playboy, Sex Acts, Cheating, Adultery, Cliches, Alcohol, Tattoos, Travel, Denver, Colorado, Recipe, Bread, Salami, Meat, Cheese, Provolone, Garlic
The best way to get over a Slump Buster is to get under somebody else. Who better than Playboy? Don’t be deceived by the cuddly, bunny implications of his pseudonym; Playboy (more…)
April 7, 2010
Tags:
Lil' Bro, Dad, Easter, Adultery, Playboy, Open Relationships, Dating, Marriage, Sex Acts, The Number, Slump Buster, Retro Writer, Writing, Books, Music, Conference, Travel, Colorado, Recipe, Cupcakes, No-Bake, Cereal, Marshmallows, Rice Krispies, Frosting
Man Eater is about to embark on what may be material for some very racy posts (I say “may be” because depending on how XXX the hookup is, it may not be kosher for the blog). Before we proceed, I feel the need to state something:
I’m not a slut. I’m single. (more…)
April 2, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Breakups, Technology, Facebook, Blackberry, Cooking, Classes, Salty Tart, Bakeries, Chefs, Michelle Gayer, Braiser Babe, Middle-aged Men, Sex Threrapy, Recipe, Vanilla Bean, Berries, Blackberries, Tart, Crust, Dough, Ganache, Chocolate, Whipped Cream, Dessert
Man Eater is feeling back to normal…meaning misbehaving.
The day after the breakup text exchange with Slump Buster, I went to Verizon to replace my broken phone (Ladies, forget the bars! If you want to meet sexy, single men, head to your nearest (more…)
March 30, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Dating, Writing, Facebook, Technology, Texting, Puck, Books, Twin Cities, Lori Gottlieb, Marry Him, Music Mensch, Spirituality, Recipe, Bread, Italian, Focaccia, Appetizer, Herbs, Cheese, Sun Dried Tomatoes, Cherries, Rosemary, Basil, Onions
If hits are any indication, readers don’t like Man Eater on a soap box. They’d rather read about soap-opera-style drama. You want it, you got it.
I wasn’t going to give Slump Buster any more air time because, despite his objections otherwise, I think he enjoys seeing his now super-hero-sized persona (more…)
March 22, 2010
Tags:
Music, Courtney Love, Hole, Brother Ali, Slump Buster, Dating, Breakups, Tito, Dogs, Diesel Jeans DJ, Radio, Love, Recipe, Cake, Bundt, Chocolate, Devil's Food, Caramel, Whipped Cream, Toffee, Heath, Candy, Love-Hate Cake, Dessert, Most Popular Posts
Have I said “They always come back”? (I know I have. I’m just being cocky.) Because they do! And...oops, we did it again.
I tried to keep my big mouth shut, but I can't eat if my lips are zipped, so here goes. Slump Buster and I reunited last week at Spyhouse. (more…)
March 13, 2010
Tags:
Spirituality, Fire Writer, Adultery, Writers, Books, C'mon Kid, Intoxicating Artist, Facebook, Technology, Sex Toys, Slump Buster, Minnesota, Recipe, Bars, Coconut, Cream Cheese, Dessert, Chocolate, Jam, Cookies
Though Man Eater behaves sinfully, I am a believer. I call on God often (and not just in the “Oh my God, I’m gonna come!” kind of way). Most of all, I have faith that when God closes one door, Cupid kicks down another.
Behind door #2?
Fire Writer.
Hellz yeah!
Did you all (more…)
March 9, 2010
Tags:
Music, Brother Ali, Sex Toys, Dating, Slump Buster, Technology, Facebook, Recipe, Bread, Bananas, Chocolate, Breakfast, Dessert
Feelings, nothing more than feelings…
Or would you prefer “I can’t make you love me” by Bonnie Raitt? Don’t make me bust out the Coldplay!
Ok, ok, I’ll stop before you barf (and don’t you dare say “it ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings” ‘cause I haven’t (more…)
March 6, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Dating, Breakups, Writing, The-Rapist, Travel, Montreal, Canada, Quebec, Recipe, French Toast, Creme Brulee, Breakfast, Most Popular Posts
I guess it’s over…whatever “it” was.
The breakup with Slump Buster wasn’t a bash-you-in-the-knees a la Tonya Harding kind of shock; it was a chip-in-the-windshield-that-slowly-spreads kind of heartbreak. It was so subtle, I didn’t initially recognize my sadness as such. But the tell-tale signs of break-up mode were there: The (more…)
March 4, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Family, Dating, Travel, Technology, Texting, Townhome Hunk, Dogs, Babies, Health, TV, Television, The Office, Massage, Recipe, Caramel Pecan Buns, Sticky Buns, Buns, Nuts, Breakfast, Pastry, Dough, Bread
I know you wanna know.
And I’ll tell you…but before I do, I need to rewind to that Sunday (a.k.a. Day 28 of my cycle) when I asked (read: insisted) that Slump Buster give me a sexy send-off before my departure for Portland. He begrudgingly agreed, though failed to nail down (more…)
March 2, 2010
Tags:
Babies, Chipotle, Chocolate, Cupcakes, The Heavy Table, Health, Parenting, Bakery, Blogs, Writing, Books, Mon Petit Cupcake, Best Sex Writing, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Kerry Cohen, Loose Girl, Slump Buster, Alcohol, Whiskey
Scene: Sunday. Home sweet home. Me standing in front of the bathroom mirror and groaning.
Why? Because I was late. REALLY late…
My cupcake meetup was due to start in ten minutes and I hadn’t even left the house yet. The holdup? I couldn’t zip up any of my clothes. I kid (more…)
March 1, 2010
Tags:
Travel, Portland, Grocery Stores, Breakups, Yogurt, Berries, Granola, TV, Television, Slump Buster, Technology, Facebook, Music, VooDoo Doughnuts, Health, Most Popular Posts
Slump Buster has asked that I refrain from writing about him, a request I find surprising considering where I left off in the last post. You’d think he’d want me to finish that part of the story… (‘Cause if the recent hits are any indication, I know you readers do!)
Well, babe, (more…)
February 27, 2010
Tags:
Travel, Portland, Slump Buster, Technology, VooDoo Doughnuts, Doughnuts, Frosting, Bakery, Contraception, Babies, Health, Pregnancy, Friends, TV, Television, Exercise, Candy, Breakups, Writing, Most Popular Posts
My second day in Portland marked Day 30 of my cycle. (I hope you don’t need a tutorial in female reproductive matters, readers. 30 days is late by almost any woman’s calendar.) Baby brain soon polluted my blissful vacation. Chubby cherubs were all over the place! When I flipped on the TV, the first (more…)
February 25, 2010
Tags:
Travel, Portland, Eggs, Breakfast, Bagel, Cheese, Sandwich, Whole Foods, Grocery Stores, Writing, Man Eater, Slump Buster, VooDoo Doughnuts, Most Popular Posts
My second day in Portland was just as delicious as the first. On Tuesday morning, after working up a sweat (in the gym, not bed, unfortunately), I hit the streets of Stumptown to hunt down breakfast. I was ravenous, so when I turned the corner and saw the familiar Pita Pit, I almost settled (more…)
February 23, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Travel, Portland, Best Sex Writing, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Kerry Cohen, Loose Girl, Books, Writing, Authors, Man Eater, Publishing, Technology, Facebook, Texting, Cupcakes, Steak, Dating, Most Popular Posts
My trip to Portland started off with a bang…but not the kind I was hoping for.
I may go into details in a future post, but the point is I did not get my much fantasized about send-off from Slump Buster on Sunday night (read: steak at the Strip Club, followed by more (more…)
February 18, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Recipe, Muffins, Blueberries, Berries, Betty Crocker, Cupcakes, Red Velvet Cake, Walnuts
When Slump Buster left on his trip last week, I silently hatched a plan (no promises, not even to myself!) to ban all sugary substances from my diet for the duration of his absence. The goal: one week of completely clean eating. Dietary detox, if you will.
Go ahead, laugh your asses off. I (more…)
February 15, 2010
Tags:
The Mexican, Insatiable, Virginity, Slump Buster, Valentine's Day, Holiday, Technology, Facebook, Travel, Diesel Jeans DJ, Mom, Tito, Recipe, Spaghetti, Pasta, Anchovies, Tomatoes, Capers, Olives, Italian
Valentine's Day, in Man Eater’s world, is usually a non-event. I’ve only had one memorable V-day in my whole life! I was 16 and on my second date with The Mexican. He gave me a kiss; I gave him a card.
Wait! Details are important here. He gave me a HERSHEY’S (more…)
February 13, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Movies, Boston Legal, Eating, Sleepovers, Make-up Sex, Apologies, Recipe, Pizza, Pepperoni, Mushrooms, Cheese, Most Popular Posts
(Continued from the previous post)
Our first fight resolved, my sentence of sitting through the Super Bowl served, and all but one slice of my Rice Krispies heart eaten, Slump Buster handed me a take-out menu so I could order the pizza we’d (more…)
February 11, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Dating, Facebook, Technology, Puck, Books, TV, Sports, Recipe, Cereal, Rice Krispies, Heart, Marshmallows, Frosting, Valentine's Day, Holiday
Man Eater is an over-achiever. Leave it to me to hit two milestones in one date.
Sunday night was my first fight with Slump Buster. It started off as you might expect: with silence. Despite my optimistic attitude on Sunday morning, as the day slogged along, sans confirmation from Slump Buster about our date (more…)
February 8, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Puck, Recipe, Doughnuts, Breakfast, Pastries, Chocolate, Toffee, Candy
Man Eater has met her match.
Slump Buster not only broke the dry spell, he’s broken my orgasmic high score. I’ve had more Big O’s in 2010 than most women do during the entire span of their marriages. I don’t keep score, but if I did…I would’ve lost count (more…)
February 5, 2010
Tags:
Valentine's Day, Holiday, Slump Buster, Fire Writer, Adultery, Books, Recipe, Snack, Popcorn, Red Hots, Cinnamon, Candy, Spicy
Valentine’s Day is coming. Slump Buster is going away. Man Eater is…cooking up trouble?
Let’s cut to the chase: Fire Writer is back in rotation. (Have I said “They always come back”? Because they DO!) Nothing’s happened…but the opportunity may soon present itself. Based on the ironic timing these (more…)
February 3, 2010
Tags:
Dating, Lil Bro, Pumpkin Eater, My Little Indian, Puck, Slump Buster, Restaurants, PDA, TV, Television, Movies, Recipe, Pizza, Potatoes, Fries, Sweet Potato Fries, Spicy, Chipotle Mayo
What defines a date? Seriously. I want to know. ‘Cause somewhere along the line, I got labeled as “Couch Potato Chick”. After the requisite coffee, lunch, and dinner outings, we arrive at date three, have sex, and suddenly my suitors relegate me to “let’s stay in” status.
…not that I mind necessarily. Home (more…)
February 1, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Dating, Recipe, Panna Cotta, Berries, Dessert
Scene: a Saturday night. Slump Buster’s bed. Me spooning him. He’s drifted off. I’m still awake. His fingers are intertwined with mine and clasped, fist-like, on his chest. I can feel his heart beating. No matter how much his body shifts and twitches, his grip on my hand holds steady. Every (more…)
January 29, 2010
Tags:
Slump Buster, Jail Bird, EconMan, Shrink, Puck, Music, Books, Advice, Recipe, Pancakes, Blueberries, Blackberries, Fruit, Breakfast, Brunch
Was I too harsh in my last post? Blame it on my writing style. Third person plural can sound accusatory, so today I will stick to “I” statements. This is what was really going on inside my pretty little head:
At about 24 hours post slump-bust, the insecurity set in. A doom-and-gloom thought train thundered (more…)
January 27, 2010
Tags:
Ice Cream, Ben & Jerry's, Cookie Dough, Slump Buster
I scream, you scream, we all scream for…the slump buster!
Yes, the dry spell is over! Wanna know who ended my fourteen months of sex-free misery?
Drum roll, please……………………………………………………………………
Ben & Jerry!
Seriously!
I wrote a really yummy post about it all…and at the last minute decided some things are more delicious when (more…)
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Note: Post dates may not coincide with events described in blog.
Feed Me.
Author's Note: Amount of chocolate consumed inversely proportionate to current amount of sexual activity. As you can see, I'm in the midst of a severe dry spell.
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