Hot Dish: The MAN EATER Blog

Man Oh Man-kato!

July 11, 2010

Tags: New Dude, Fashion, Mankato, Minnesota, Travel, Road Trips, The Happy Chef, Spatulas, Spanking, Blogging, The Mexican, Divorce, Remarriage, Parenting, Honey Buns, Music, Casey Call, Pictures of Then, The Avett Brothers, Basilica Block Party, Recipe, Paul Deen, Fudge, Southern Food, Fried Chicken, Chicken Strips, Coleslaw, Potato Salad, Turkey Fryer, TV, Television, Magazines, Food Network, PDA, Texting

“Do you want to get laid today?!” I asked New Dude when he picked me up bright and early on Saturday morning. For this, our first road trip together, he’d shown up in a mustard yellow Hawaiian shirt that (more…)

This Birthday Blows

June 18, 2010

Tags: Birthdays, Slump Buster, EconMan, Puck, The Strip Club, Mom, Parenting, Family, Holidays, Music, Depression, TV, Television, Cake, Cupcakes, Crumbs Bake Shop, Astrology

Oh, how I love a break up right before my birthday!

Since my divorce, I’ve only been attached (and precariously at that) twice on my birthday. The first time was to EconMan (you can read about that unhappy occasion here); the second time (more…)

A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind

June 3, 2010

Tags: Insatiable, EconMan, Body Image, Running, Injuries, Gym, Exercise, Dating, What Would Men Say, Andrea Schell, TV, Television, Recipe, Napoleon, Berries, Strawberries, Pudding, Whipped Cream, Chocolate, Powdered Sugar, Dessert

“Do you think I’m getting too thin?” I ask Dave one night as we spoon dispassionately in bed.

“Is this a trick question?” he asks.

“No, I’m serious.”

“I think you look hot,” he says, taking one of my butt cheeks in his hand. “You’re not thin, you’re slim. There’ (more…)

Who's Your Paddy?

March 16, 2010

Tags: Alcohol, Whisky, Dating, Men, Puck, Jail Bird, EconMan, The Mexican, Addiction, Recovery, TV, Television, Holiday, St. Patrick's Day, Irish, Family, Recipe, Bread Pudding, Breakfast, Brunch, Make-Ahead, Apples, Raisins, Cinnamon, Challah, Bread

You asked for it. Okay, perhaps not you, personally, but one of my readers challenged me to dedicate a post to why, if I don’t drink, I date so many men who do.

At first, I thought my reader was way off base. (more…)

Is That A Bun In Your Oven?

March 4, 2010

Tags: Slump Buster, Family, Dating, Travel, Technology, Texting, Townhome Hunk, Dogs, Babies, Health, TV, Television, The Office, Massage, Recipe, Caramel Pecan Buns, Sticky Buns, Buns, Nuts, Breakfast, Pastry, Dough, Bread

I know you wanna know.

And I’ll tell you…but before I do, I need to rewind to that Sunday (a.k.a. Day 28 of my cycle) when I asked (read: insisted) that Slump Buster give me a sexy send-off before my departure for Portland. He begrudgingly agreed, though failed to nail down (more…)

Portland, Part Four: Crash Landing

March 1, 2010

Tags: Travel, Portland, Grocery Stores, Breakups, Yogurt, Berries, Granola, TV, Television, Slump Buster, Technology, Facebook, Music, VooDoo Doughnuts, Health, Most Popular Posts

Slump Buster has asked that I refrain from writing about him, a request I find surprising considering where I left off in the last post. You’d think he’d want me to finish that part of the story… (‘Cause if the recent hits are any indication, I know you readers do!)

Well, babe, (more…)

Portland, Part Three: Uh-Oh VooDoo Baby

February 27, 2010

Tags: Travel, Portland, Slump Buster, Technology, VooDoo Doughnuts, Doughnuts, Frosting, Bakery, Contraception, Babies, Health, Pregnancy, Friends, TV, Television, Exercise, Candy, Breakups, Writing, Most Popular Posts

My second day in Portland marked Day 30 of my cycle. (I hope you don’t need a tutorial in female reproductive matters, readers. 30 days is late by almost any woman’s calendar.) Baby brain soon polluted my blissful vacation. Chubby cherubs were all over the place! When I flipped on the TV, the first (more…)

You Say "Potato", I say "Is This A Date?"

February 3, 2010

Tags: Dating, Lil Bro, Pumpkin Eater, My Little Indian, Puck, Slump Buster, Restaurants, PDA, TV, Television, Movies, Recipe, Pizza, Potatoes, Fries, Sweet Potato Fries, Spicy, Chipotle Mayo

What defines a date? Seriously. I want to know. ‘Cause somewhere along the line, I got labeled as “Couch Potato Chick”. After the requisite coffee, lunch, and dinner outings, we arrive at date three, have sex, and suddenly my suitors relegate me to “let’s stay in” status.

…not that I mind necessarily. Home (more…)

So Sushi Me

January 6, 2010

Tags: My Little Indian, Restaurants, Sushi, Fish, Dating, Men, Writing, Insatiable, TV, Television, Movies

After the New Year’s dinner date with My Little Indian (see previous post), I confessed via e-mail that I wanted to keep things platonic. To my surprise, he didn’t mind; in fact, he invited me out for sushi. A week later, on a frigid January night, we met up at the chi-chi (more…)

Good Food, Bad Foreplay

January 3, 2010

Tags: My Little Indian, Holiday, TV, Television, Movies, Anthony Bourdain, Sex Acts, Oral Sex, Condoms, Most Popular Posts

Tic-toc, the pants are gonna drop. Soon. (Can I get an AMEN?) In preparation, I returned to my journals for a quick review in how-not-to-hook-up.

On New Year’s Day, 2009, My Little Indian offered to make me dinner for our third date. As he embarked on meal prep, I stood in the doorway of (more…)

Salad Days

November 27, 2009

Tags: Mom, Music, TV, Television, Dating, Food, Restaurants, Eating, Recipe, Salad, Chicken, Cheese, Strawberries, Body, Weight Loss, Weight Lifting

“Ooh—there’s a really cute guy behind you,” Mom said the other night at the jazz club. We’d gone to see one of my childhood friends sing. Aside from the music, Mom was enjoying hypothetically matching me up with every bachelor in sight—even the ineligible ones.

Mom gave me the hubba-hubba (more…)

Apple Pie Envy

October 31, 2009

Tags: Punk Blogger, Apple Pie, Apples, Baking, Dessert, Recipe, Television, TV, Pie, Upside Down Apple Pie

Just when you thought apple pie couldn’t get any better…MAN EATER comes along and flips the sexiest recipe in existence on it’s head. Literally.

“Why another apple pie?” you groan. “How many ways can you possibly vary the same dozen ingredients?” Well, skeptical readers: 1) You can never have enough apple pie. 2) (more…)

Tastes like (Angry) Chicken!

October 27, 2009

Tags: Writing, STDs, Television, TV, Shrink, Health, Pregnancy, Chicken, Sandwich, Recipe

MAN EATER adores acronyms. I can’t get enough PDA, UPS, LMAO, BEP, PB &J, BLT, and, of course, BJs.

Then there are the unappetizing acronyms I avoid like HSM: HPV and OPP.

I don’t want this post to be a PSA, but if STDs are cool enough for “Californication” (see the 10-25 (more…)

Bad Ass Bachelors, Kick Ass Pie

October 26, 2009

Tags: Television, Men, Love, Cake, Pudding, Chocolate, Recipe

I'm behind on my must-see TV. It wasn't until this summer that I discovered--and fell in love with--"Boston Legal". All those sexy Alpha males, the excessive testosterone, the drama and debate; talk about a guilty pleasure! I gorged on the series, devouring the entire six seasons in a matter of weeks. It was (more…)

Animal Magnetism

October 15, 2009

Tags: Men, Music, Technology, Television, TV

The force field has been actived. My taxi cab light is on (to borrow a metaphor from Sex and the City). I’m ripe. I’m juicy. I’m ready. I can feel it.

The men are circling, like the hound dogs they are. They’re sniffing me out. So why hasn’t anyone (more…)

Sex And The Cynic (On A Stick)

September 8, 2009

Tags: Television, Puck, Love, Writing, Recipe

I have so much sex, all the females in my family are jealous.

Made you look! (Err…read.)

I’m not talking sex sex. I’m talking “Sex and the City”, also known as the greatest television show ever.

I bought the entire collection of SATC DVDs as a reward to myself a couple (more…)

Man Eater Versus Food

August 11, 2009

Tags: Television, Eating, Writing

I just discovered “Man Versus Food” on the Travel Channel. I know, I’m a little behind on my hit TV shows, but that’s because I don’t have cable. Hell, I don’t even have local TV since the channels went digital! My Dad bought me a converter box for my birthday (more…)

Knock On Wood

August 3, 2009

Tags: Puck, Television, Movies, Spirituality

The other day, as soon as I finished blogging about "The Bachelorette" proposal and blubbering about Puck, the doorbell rang. Ding-dong. I stared at the front door, scared and disbelieving and breathless. Could it be? Had Puck, inspired by the finale of ABC’s reality show, finally come for me?

I peeked out the (more…)

Beantown Bachelors

July 31, 2009

Tags: Television, Men, Love

I’m behind on my hit television series viewing. I chalk it up to the fact that for several years I was conceiving, gestating, birthing, and/or breastfeeding babies and didn’t have time for the tube.

Now that I have the occasional half-hour free (or make that a half-hour of absolute boredom on (more…)

Special Ed

July 29, 2009

Tags: Puck, Television

Ahh. I can breathe again. In other words, my computer finally came through for me and I was able to watch the second half of “The Bachelorette” season finale.

Hooray for Impotent Ed! He made it to home base (at least, I assume he did as soon as the cameras stopped rolling)!

It was (more…)

WTF ABC?!

July 28, 2009

Tags: Puck, Television

I have done virtually NOTHING today and t’s all ABC’s fault.

I was all jazzed this morning because I was planning on watching “The Bachelorette” finale online. I clicked. Nothing happened. I clicked again. Black screen. I clicked and cursed and clicked some more. I rebooted and tried again. Click. Click. Click. (more…)

Not Another Puck Buddy

July 15, 2009

Tags: Television, Puck, Technology

Oh. My. God. I just watched the latest episode of “The Bachelorette." In short, The Bachelorette took her Mr. Unattainable back to the fantasy suite (he’s no longer unique there—all three contestants got into bed with her this week. Yuck. STDs, spreading like wildfire…) and…Mr. Unattainable couldn’t get it up!

(more…)

Bad Ass Bachelor

July 3, 2009

Tags: Television, Puck

My writer brain was in need of a break the other night; the next best thing I could find to unwind was trashy reality TV, a.k.a. “The Bachelorette.”

I really shouldn’t watch this show. It has done nothing to ease my relational cynicism or convince me that men are EVER ready (more…)

"A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes..."

June 4, 2009

Tags: Puck, Dreams, Love, Television

Congratulations are in order! Puck and I got hitched…albeit in my dreams.

I had a hell of a time falling asleep last night. I tossed and turned, unable to let go. I kept getting up, anxiously checking my cell phone to see if Puck had drunk-dialed me in the middle of the night.

(more…)

Bachelor Betrayl!

March 3, 2009

Tags: Television, Love, Eating, Love

So pissed about “The Bachelor” finale.

For those of you more evolved than me who don’t watch such crap TV, The Bachelor proposed to the good girl, dumped her six weeks after (on TV, no less), then asked the bimbo slut to give him a second chance. She did, of course.

Probably better (more…)

Hot Bread and The Bachelor

January 12, 2009

Tags: Cooking, Television

Tonight, after the girls went to bed, watched "The Bachelor" while trying to make whole-wheat breadsticks. While they baked, did yoga and finished watching the show. I haven't watched mindless TV in so long, it felt indulgent.

Breadsticks didn't turn out. Something about my kitchen doesn't lend itself to bread rising. Whatever.













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Author's Note: Amount of chocolate consumed inversely proportionate to current amount of sexual activity. As you can see, I'm in the midst of a severe dry spell.











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